Teen Choice Awards

My take on the Teen Choice Awards 2009 is as follows:

It was exciting, definitely. I saw pictures the day before it was aired on television. The fashion? Amazing. I loved all of the outfits and you could really tell that vests [for guys] are in nowadays. Jackson Rathbone, Chace Crawford, Taylor Lautner, Kellan Lutz; everyone had a godamn vest on.

Kristen Stewart wasn't wearing converse. HALLELUJAH!! Clad in high heels and a skirt, KStew finally looked appropriate Her outfit looked amazing and yet uncomfortable to sit in, am I right? Ashley Greene, as usual, stole the show for Twilight Best-Dressed, although many Twi-fans will agree, saying Robert did. Nikki Reed, as always, looked uncomfortable dressing up and the dress looked almost like a tailored bag of drapery for your curtains in your home. I don't care for her horrid dress-up days. She looks phenomenal when she dresses herself.

Now onto the awards...

I didn't realize the Jonas Brothers were hosting until the end. I missed their beginning performance and tuned in around the time where Leighton Meester and Chace Crawford finished their speeches.

Seating...

Did you notice that Jackson Rathbone and Ashley Greene sat next to each other. On the leaked footage of seating for the Twilight cast at the TCA's, Jackson was set to sit on the other side of Justin Chon[Eric]. I found it cute that not only did he switch seats, but he had his arm around her the whole award ceremony and they did frequent takes toward them (when Ellen won Choice Twit, B.Spears won her award, and a few other moments).

Did you also notice that Zac Efron, once handed his surf board, never sat back down. Instead, he either left or disappeared, leaving Vanessa Hudgens to go join her Thirteen co-star and Twilight star, Nikki Reed.

Speaking of Zac Efron, did you realize that he styled his hair a bit too much like Rob Pattinson? It seems that all boys are doing that nowadays. How do you compete with a vampire heart throb, boys?

Scandals...

There were two scandals that I know of at the TCA's. One being Miley Cyrus' pole dance. During her performance of Party in the USA, which was leaked earlier this week, Miley stood on an ice cream cart and proceeded to grind against the pole. Now that is a bit extreme, but if you have not seen it, YouTube the performance and you'll see. On the TCA's, it was censored, leaving us hanging with a simple high camera view of the 16-year-old. I asked a few of my friends their take on it, and some blew it off like no big deal.

"She was just hanging onto the pole so she didn't fall off. There have been plenty of clumsy moments with that girl."

What do you think?

The other scandal was my favorite because Dane Cook knows no censor. After Vanessa Hudgens's recent leak of another nude picture scandal, Dane Cook stopped reading the prompter and looked at the camera, saying,

"Before I read the nominees... where's Vanessa Hudgens's?"

Vanessa, sitting next to Nikki Reed, raised her hand, confused and looking oddly annoyed. Cook, like he always does, laughed at his joke after saying,

"Keep your clothes on, girl! Phones are for phone calls!"

This was censored and not aired for the Teen Choice Awards on the television, but is viewable on YouTube. Dane, like any good comedian, has not apologized, and why should he? It's true.

Twilight won 11 awards, sweeping the TCA nominees in other categories. I found Michael Buckley's comment funny, "And Twilight won choice... awkward."

It was true! The Twilight cast, after hesitating, stood up on stage and proceeded to make their youngest castmate, Taylor Lautner (Jacob Black), promote their next installment, New Moon. "See you in theaters November 20th."

Can I just say that Rob Pattinson's two speeches [once when he won hottest whatever and when Twilight went up to accept their 11 wins], he either sounded so unbelievably happy that he was surrounded by his fellow cast mates, or maybe KStew handed him some pot before the show.

Both Kristen and Rob seemed oddly giddy. Maybe that was why security ripped Rob away from any press after the show. Maybe I'm reading too much into this! Maybe it was just happy to be with their fellow cast mates, because when does that happen? With conflicting schedules and now Eclipse fight-training, it's a miracle to have them all together.

In other news, Jackson Rathbone confirmed that he is learning horseback riding for the third installment; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Now, I think the only reason is for a flashback scene, am I right? I hope so! They seem to love flashbacks. With both Twilight and New Moon [with the Volturi], it seems that both Melissa Rosenberg (screen writer) and Summit love their flashbacks.

Also, it was a bit hard to watch Ashley Greene since her recent nude photo scandal. Yes, you heard right, though I'm sure you've seen the pictures. If you haven't you probably won't. Greene, after catching wind of the news, apparently threw a fit and demanded to take legal action to anyone who redistributed the photos. Perez Hilton immediately took it off of his site after being told he would be sued if keeping them there.

Eric Striffler, from ErickWithNoK or EricStrifflerVids on YouTube, tweeted:

"Oh God this is awkward... Ashley Greene... I uh... wow. Nice dress, not that it's necessary anymore..."

I couldn't agree more.

She was also seen outside of the airport kissing Gossip Girl star and heart throb, Chace Crawford. Yes, Jackson/Ashley fans! Ashley Greene was seen being dropped off by Crawford before boarding a plane back to Canada to continue fight training. I've certainly lost respect for this one.

Finally, the New Moon footage to be shown at Bandslam... HAS BEEN LEAKED. Thank goodness! No one really wanted to go see that horrible movie with Naked... I mean, Disney Star, Vanessa Hudgens, did you?

I didn't. OF COURSE, there is a catch. The footage is in French and only has an English translation, which probably isn't word for word.

I say, if you don't want to suffer through Bandslam, wait until Friday night or even Friday morning [Thursday midnight showing...?] for someone to post it. Sure, you'll want to see it in hi-def, but if it is that good of a clip, then spend your money on Baby V.

That's it. The end.

Defining: Obsession

Obsession. While reading Stephen King's On Writing, this idea popped into my head. He was advising that writing isn't coming up with an idea, but knowing how to recognize it when it pops into your mind somewhere between your conscience and sub-conscience.

As I was taking small breaks in between on July 23rd, 2009 to check my Twitter for updates on the New Moon Comic Con, I realized I was completely distracted and forced myself to hide the iPod Touch with internet connection. It was too tempting, and like Mr. King had advised, when you are writing, reading, whatever, you need to be in your favorite serene environment with the door shut, submerging yourself in your latest to-do.

So what is obsession? The dictionary.com definition is one of 4:

1) the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

2) the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.

3) the state of being obsessed [how original]

4) the act of obsessing [once again, not helpful]

Still this doesn't answer my question; what is the root of obsession? My only answer is simple: to escape. Personally, I use music as an escape, though I have my share of obsessions as well. Writing, being one of them, and obsessing over Twilight is obviously a big thing since last July when I had first picked up that damn book, but my ranting over that series is for another blog post entirely.

Think about it, why do you do what you do? Be it reading, writing, music, dance, sports, or anything, why do you do it? It's fun, it gets your mind off of things, it allows you to escape your mundane reality and dive into something else.

Twilight, for instance, has given me an alternate world to dive into. This world includes the perfect man, the perfect life, and the perfect friends and family mixed in with getting everything you want and everything works out for you. A vampire can't have children? Well, Bella will before that decision comes. Although I loathe the characters of Bella and Edward and how easily they get what they want, I pick up one of the four books at least once a day to skim over my favorite bits and pieces if I'm not already writing.

Fanfiction can be called a fan's easy way out or the glorified version of it can be used to describe Stephenie Meyer's writing, is another way of expanding that obsession or, in another way of thinking, containing it. Either reading it or taking part in the harsh, but sometimes rewardingly gracious fanfiction community, you was indulging in your obsession; feeding the flames, if you will.

-pauses as I check Twitter.com-

Do you see? From my own experiences with friends, it is a good way to bring up things in common, to make friends, and to build on friendships. For instance, a girl sat at my lunch table in 9th grade and I said nothing to her most of the year, but we were in a group of friends that mingled with each other. I mentioned my love for the 8-Tony-Award-Winning Broadway Musical Spring Awakening, and ever since we've been good friends. A good friend of mine introduced me to Twilight and now we never hang out without talking about it at least once.

Everyone knows what to get me for my sixteenth birthday; anything, anything at all related to Jackson Rathbone.

So obsession can make acquaintances friends, can make friends best friends, and can just help people figure out what to get their friend for their birthday. On the other hand, the escape aspect that I dwelled on and digressed into an alternate universe after mentioning. Think about yourself right now.

Who are you? How old are you? What is your hobby? Your obsession? How many times do you think/talk/mention it a day/week/month/year? Are you using it as an escape from what is really going on in your life or just as a habit built up over time? Have you gained friends or companions that you wouldn't have if it weren't for this hobby or love for [fill in the blank]?

Alcoholics use alcohol to escape [duh], drug-addicts use their drug of choice, writers/artists/musicians use their art and passion, and you use what? Blogging? Reading blogs? Twitter, facebook, computer, television, is it SpongeBob SquarePants or Private Practice that has you at the edge of your seat, groaning when commercials come on or when you are forced away from the TV?

Maybe obsessions are to escape the reality of not knowing. We don't know why we're here. I mean, some believe God knows or there is a supreme being who will tell us when we've gotten it right once we die, but for now, what is it? Is it to shun away from "perfection" or the Hollywood's idea of "perfection"? But that's another obsession entirely! Hollywood! Tell me you've never stopped to look at a tabloid when standing in line at the grocery store. "JON & KATE PLUS BABYSITTER!!" or "ANGIE TOLD BRAD TO PACK UP AND LEAVE!" You've seen it.

This is when I digress again. My 7th grade English teacher was a stickler. He'd give us ten minutes in the beginning of the forty-minute period to write a well-developed paragraph of his choice, full of transitions and vocabulary that he would be proud of. Now by the time everyone got into the classroom and started after writing down their homework and nonsense, we'd have five minutes. He would call on you when he knew you wouldn't ready [like all teachers do with their prodigy radar], and as you'd try and protest or paraphrase what you meant, he'd tell you to read word for word what you had on your paper. No matter how embarrassed you were at this awkward transition age, you'd read your paragraph aloud, as you try to ignore the snorts from the girl whom you've just had a confrontation with that was only four or five weekends old - and still hung heavy in the air between you. He'd stop, nod, and turn to the class, using air quotes as he told us. '"perfection" is not what the goal is here, but doing our best and having confidence in what that means to each of us, individually.' He will remain my favorite teacher.

"Perfect me" is obsessed with Twilight, writing, facebook, Twitter, the internet, Jackson Rathbone, Avatar: The Last Airbender, air hockey, reading, Harry Potter, Stephenie Meyer, playing music on guitar and flute or on my iTunes, editing pictures on PicNik, sifting through horrid fanfics of my favorite book/TV show/movie at the time, and above all Star Bucks. All of these allow me to escape the High School drama of the day or the week, the friend drama of the hour, and the annoyance of the morning or perhaps the weather.

Obsession (n): one's way of escaping reality, be it good or bad, for enjoyment through hobbies or pastimes, despite imperfections.

That's my definition.

Divorce: The Musical

Beginning; Time.

So this is the beginning. I guess I'll start with what's been going on this summer. A lot of self-searching, I guess... Losing friends who I thought were holding me back and yet missing them like nobody's business. I think time is a big thing for me lately. Enough time to do one thing or the other. How much time I have until college and my real life starts, what time do I have to goof off, what time should I waste on people who I know don't influence my life, but I keep them around anyway because they just happen to make me feel like I have more close friends. 

I'm doing this more for myself. I like to write out whatever I can and whatever I want and this will probably come in handy for college to keep in touch with my Long Island friends. I'm thinking of photography. Yeah, I want that to be my main focus. I want that as my career and yet I don't have a drive. I don't eat, sleep, drink photography. I carry my camera everywhere and yet I don't have the push to literally take pictures of anything and everything I want. It's merely a hobby, but I don't want to do nothing. 

I don't want to be a teacher, counselor, writer, or anything. I want to be known. Not to a mediocre school district or family, but to a group of people that I made something of myself.

I just saw The Dark Knight and honestly, Heath Ledger was amazing. Without him, the movie would be shit. And yet the way or time that he died would've been the perfect suicide. Do they really tell you whether or not Ana Nicole Smith committed suicide? They said it was all accidental and yet she had all the reasons to commit it herself! Heath Ledger did amazing roles, but all the same stereotype and then, you move toward playing the Joker, which leaves his memory and legacy haunting. He is ten times the actor he would've been if he hadn't died from an accidental overdose and merely lived out his life until he was 99. 

Time. How long do you have and how are you going to deal with it? Then it goes back to Jonathan Larson's legacy; No Day But Today. After tragically dying the night before his preview show of RENT opened of an aortic aneurism, he left behind his play that blossomed greater than anyone could ever imagine. Without his death, the play wouldn't be as tragic. 

Everything reverts back to time. so would you rather be a school teacher who raised $1000 dollars for the Healthy Lunch School Fund or a famous playwright who dies before their life truly becomes legendary? You choose.