Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Beginning; Time.

So this is the beginning. I guess I'll start with what's been going on this summer. A lot of self-searching, I guess... Losing friends who I thought were holding me back and yet missing them like nobody's business. I think time is a big thing for me lately. Enough time to do one thing or the other. How much time I have until college and my real life starts, what time do I have to goof off, what time should I waste on people who I know don't influence my life, but I keep them around anyway because they just happen to make me feel like I have more close friends. 

I'm doing this more for myself. I like to write out whatever I can and whatever I want and this will probably come in handy for college to keep in touch with my Long Island friends. I'm thinking of photography. Yeah, I want that to be my main focus. I want that as my career and yet I don't have a drive. I don't eat, sleep, drink photography. I carry my camera everywhere and yet I don't have the push to literally take pictures of anything and everything I want. It's merely a hobby, but I don't want to do nothing. 
I don't want to be a teacher, counselor, writer, or anything. I want to be known. Not to a mediocre school district or family, but to a group of people that I made something of myself.

I just saw The Dark Knight and honestly, Heath Ledger was amazing. Without him, the movie would be shit. And yet the way or time that he died would've been the perfect suicide. Do they really tell you whether or not Ana Nicole Smith committed suicide? They said it was all accidental and yet she had all the reasons to commit it herself! Heath Ledger did amazing roles, but all the same stereotype and then, you move toward playing the Joker, which leaves his memory and legacy haunting. He is ten times the actor he would've been if he hadn't died from an accidental overdose and merely lived out his life until he was 99. 

Time. How long do you have and how are you going to deal with it? Then it goes back to Jonathan Larson's legacy; No Day But Today. After tragically dying the night before his preview show of RENT opened of an aortic aneurism, he left behind his play that blossomed greater than anyone could ever imagine. Without his death, the play wouldn't be as tragic. 

Everything reverts back to time. so would you rather be a school teacher who raised $1000 dollars for the Healthy Lunch School Fund or a famous playwright who dies before their life truly becomes legendary? You choose.